long time no see

... Thats what we say when we havent seen someone for some time. its not what i can say to my imagined reflection when my eyes roll as the peace is broken by the inane and non-stop bag of shite music that comes from one of our neighbours. tonight's big fascination is with happy hardcore apparently. ive said it before and i'll say it again - there is no place in my heart for happy hardcore. and the people who live next door can fuck off and die for all i care. i hope someone peels them from their skin and drops them in a bag of salt :)

all rantings about neighbours aside, i suppose there has been little to write about over the last couple of weeks - thats why its been... long time no see. i reached my first weight-loss target of the year last week, or the week before...i dont know cos theyve been blurring into one recently. it's stuck at the same level, but if im honest i havent been exactly busting a gut to shift more weight. even though i should. i think im still 3kgs down for the year, which is only just below target, and with new eating habit developments, i should be back on target before long.

I'm really proud of K for her decision to start with a online weight management thingy. it shows her determination to get herself back to how she wants to be, and if she is happy then i am happy. it works the other way too haha, as we find out sometimes. not too often tho

this weekend my mate is off to australia so we are heading out in town to say our goodbyes (or "fuck off's" :) - im not a huge fan of going out from 8 and staying out til whenever, but we are going to see a band of sorts so it should be ok. and i suppose its good to be sociable every now and then. a part of me will just want to be sat at my other mates house playing football manager and pro evo while watching football and drinking beer (yeah i know that im a typical lad in some ways)

lastly - uni is restarting for me on monday and i have mixed feelings about going back - i will give you a treat and describe why in my next blog, but i have to go and pour a kettle full of boiling water into K's bath for her, ha :)

The first real day of the new year

i think that im considering this to be the first day of the new year because its the first time that we've woken up and had breakfast early enough to have a proper day. now i dont want this to become a report on what food im eating, but i feel it is vital that i mention that boiled eggs and soldiers were had. its been years and years since i last had this, and it went down a treat. its nice to have breakfast made for me, especially when its so good!

i really really wanted to walk to and from graeme's house today, but i don't think its going to be possible because of the snow that fell last night. im gutted really, cos im not enjoying the snow at all anymore. i dont recall ever enjoying the snow tbh, but it's getting beyond a joke now, after two weeks...

im looking forward to seeing the flat we are looking at tomorrow. it will signal the start of looking to move out of this place, and i cant wait to leave. it's not that i hate it that much, its just not feeling like a home, and the neighbours completely suck. one side is a hostel for people awaiting rehousing after leaving prison, and the other is far too noisy for my liking. ironically the former prison "guests" have seemed fine every time i have talked to them, but the one's on the other side seem like social reprobates.

we've almost run out of food, thanks to the snow and the cold weather. i know that if the weather was nicer i would have been out and bought food, but im sick of slipping over and landing on my arse. im making lunch, and enough for K's dinner too cos im going to my mates house to watch football, and i wont be home in time for dinner.

in other news, i checked my weight on the scales this morning (yeah i know, its been 3 days since i started) and i've nearly lost 2kg, which is nice!

t'ra f'now

Realisations and Revelations

Hi, so yeah. Happy New Year n stuff. i have a good feeling about this year. Things are as settled as they have ever been for me i think. Well since the days of my early teens when i had other people to run around after me. Since those days I havent been able to settle down, for one reason or another. Although somewhere new to live when our tenancy runs out is a priority, cos this is a bit of a shithole area and a boring apartment full of not-to-pleasent aspects.

I suppose the thing to do today is take the positives from last year and think of ways to build on them. A major positive for me was cutting down on alochol in a big way. I used to get very drunk 3 times a week, and now that is down to once a week, and i dont really get that drunk anymore anyway. I think that is a reasonable level but i want to aim for 3 weeks out of 4, getting drunk once, and then having a week off completely.

That will assist me in reaching another one of my aims this year which was to lose 26kg, but after my performance this christmas i've decided to make that 30kg. I'm sick of walking down the street and feeling self-conscious about the way i look. I remember this summer when i was in sweden and i began to feel ok about it for the first time in ages cos i got down to 113kg, but ive got some serious work to do to get back to that. it will be 33% of the weight i need to lose, and if i can lose all 30kg then i will be extremely happy with that.

The only other thing i want to change this year is my work ethic at uni. I'm sick of doing the bare minimum now. I feel that I can start to get better grades if i just put a bit of effort in. I remain philosophical about the relatively low grade i just got for my last uni assignment, and I'll put that down to lack of general preparation for questions, although the presentation itself was good enough.

Time for one of my favourite things - a bulletpoint list! (summarising the changes to my lifestyle that are to come over the next 12 months

• cut 1 week of 4 out of the drinking schedule (pretty easy)
  
• lose 30kg in weight - increased exercise (not difficult) & better diet (more difficult)
  
• work harder at uni (really really difficult!)

So then, there are several things that i feel would help me in my goals. Things i need to buy. I need, for example, a pair of running shoes. Thats the priority. I alllllllmost like to run. There are two parks which are kinda close where i can go running. One more suitable than the other, but still. And i need a bike so i can use it to go to uni and to my mates house. This will mean that i dont have to pay for buses, trains or taxis.

I'm looking forward to when i can post a "fun" update!

t'ra f'now